Twenty

Twenty.

I'll be twenty by tomorrow. But I still feel so dependent towards my family, causing so many problems, financially. I don't like this feeling, not at all. My sister is going to graduate and enter college by the time I finish my diploma, and I have no idea what am I going to do.

I call this, irresponsible. Me, that is.

Well, I have four choices. I can go to cheap university but might not learn something, I can go to good university bearing the cost by applying for loan, I can apply for Korean Government Scholarship and come to Korea to study degree for 5 years(provided they take me) or I can go to work and save some money before I proceed to my degree.

I don't know where will I end up at.

Insecurity makes me uncomfortable. My mum is not able to assure me. The only thing she said is "Wait until you come back first then see." Life is way too interesting with all these choices. All the responsibilities upon those choices you make. All the unknown ahead that you never know until it hit you right in the face. At that very moment, probably everything is way too late already.

Happy birthday, I wish myself.

Despite how much I didn't want to do it. I don't want to grow up, I really don't want to. All the problems, all the choices, all the responsibilities. Apparently I don't have a choice but to do it anyway. Growing up is harsh, I have to agree on that.

Here am I, saying it once again.

Happy Birthday, to me.

LOL Moment

William + Ham = PWNED!

Earth Hour

I wasn't expecting to celebrate it. Hell, I didn't even know that today was the day for the Earth Hour thing. Not to mention my stupid immobility condition, going out is highly unlikely to happen. I was in the room sitting in front of the computer planning to do nothing at all.

Suddenly, I was in the dark corner right next to the gymnasium playing candles, scented candles.

It was all Sarah Chai's fault. Melissa tiba-tiba told me that they are going to celebrate Earth Hour in the cafe in front of the dormitory. So, I thought since it was only in front of the dormitory and I had nothing to do, I might as well just sit down there for an hour and chit-chat. I was bored to death anyway.

Sarah picked up his brother who was only here for three days and bring him to the dorm.

Then I realized that no, they are not celebrating it there. THEY WERE GOING TO THE POND, which it didn't happen later due to the lightings and all. And so, we found ourselves a very dark spot next to the gymnasium then we sat down and....

We lighted our CANDLES!

Yeah, basically that's about it.

P.S: We ate chicken for supper!

P.S.S: We refers to Melissa, Sarah, Ashley, Sarah's brother, James, and I.

Break Time

Probably a very long break time for me. 

Of Chicken, Pizza and Delivery in Korea

I always wonder why am I constantly hungry at Korea. Especially now, when I'm temporarily disabled. I want to eat chicken. There's something in Korea's chicken, maybe. But we don't really do this in Malaysia, at least we don't go to the hypermarket grab the box of chicken then run back to the dormitory then put it in the microwave, look at it spin for 3 minutes and finish the entire box of chicken in 10 minutes.

Amazing speed.

Oh yes, we are like wolves in Korea. Chicken is sort of like a consolation prize, making up for our lack of ability when it comes to adapting the Korean food culture. Maybe it's just me, but I miss Malaysia's food, a lot. At least our vegetables are hot, and we don't randomly add chili paste into any of our dishes of the day.

Then there's also this delivery thing, so-bloody-awesome. "Chicken Delivery" is what we call it. It's like KFC delivery, except this may come with noodles or pizza. The price is around RM60 for a big piece of pizza, a whole fried chicken and a 1.5 L Pepsi. Another method of self-pampering when dorm food sucks.

Well, the best thing is that he will deliver the food straight to your doorstep. You know those lazy and hungry nights? Prefect. Ordering it wasn't a problem at all, apparently. Maybe the owner already familiar with those foreigners with sudden cravings for chicken, We greet, we say what we want (E.g Bu go gi pi za seh te), we tell him where are we (E.g Dormitory of XX Uni) and we pay him when he calls you again and tell you that he is outside already. Done.

Malaysia don't have lor.

I guess I'll settle it with Ramly's when I get back to Malaysia then.

P.S: I miss Ramly Burger. (Still the best in the world)
P.S.S: Melissa is another chicken addict.

Surgery in Korea

Suddenly, I had a surgery in Korea.

I went to the hospital just wanted to get the infections on my right foot checked at the first place, who the hell will expect 30 minutes later I was lying on the operating theater waiting for the doctor to come and have fun with my leg. I'd been thinking for a long time actually, thinking to whether go to the doctor and check or just wait till I get back to Malaysia. But, since the Korea insurance covers everything except the teeth.

Why not?

But I seriously didn't except it ended up so big case which result in me, immobility, one and a half month. My roommate wanted to borrow a wheelchair crutches from his friend for me. Not much for a choice I guess. Apparently I have to spend my birthday on the bed for this year.

Oh well.

Edit: I have a pair of stick now and a weird shoe for my right foot. For free.

Rubik's Cube

This thing is addictive, I taught Melissa from 9am to 9pm.

All because of Adrian.

Bobby Kim - That Thing Called Love

Lyrics

늘 혼자 사랑하고 혼자 이별하고

늘 혼자 추억하고 혼자 도망치고

사랑이란 놈 그 놈 앞에서

언제나 난 늘 빈털털일뿐

늘 혼자 외면하고 혼자 후회하고

늘 휘청거리면서 아닌 척을 하고

사랑이란 놈 그 놈 앞에서

언제나 난 늘 웃음거릴뿐

사랑해 널 사랑해

불러도 대답 없는 멜로디

가슴이 멍들고

맘에 문은 멀어도

다시 또 발길은 그 자리로

사랑해 또 사랑해

제 멋대로 왔다가

자기 맘대로 떠나간다

왔을때 처럼 아무말도 없이 떠나간다

늘 기억땜에 살고 추억에 울어도

늘 너를 잊었다고 거짓말을 해도

숨을 삼키듯 맘을 삼키고

그저 웃으며 손을 흔든다

사랑해 널 사랑해

목이 메여 불러도

너는 듣지 못할 그 한마디

고개 떨구며 사랑 앞에 난 또 서있다

사랑해 널 사랑해

제 멋대로 왔다가

자기 마음대로 떠나가고

왔을때 처럼 아무말도 없이 떠나가도

모른척 해도

날 잊는대도

사랑은 다시 또 온다

그래 아직 내 가슴은 믿는다

사랑

사랑은 다시 또 온다

Translation

We always love alone, breakup alone

We always remember alone, run away alone

In front of this thing called love

I’m always empty handed

We always pass by alone, regret alone

Always act steady when we are shaken

In front of this thing called love

I am always made a fool

I love you, I love you

The melody that never responds when I call

Even if my heart is bruised

Even if the door to the heart is far away

Once again my feet walk towards that place

I love you, I love you

It always comes

and goes as it pleases

It leaves as quietly as it comes

We live and cry because of memories

Even if I lie and say I’ve forgotten you

I swallow my feelings as I take in the air

And I smile as I wave my hands goodbye

I love you, I love you

The words that you will never hear

Even if I call you till I thirst

Here I stand, my head shaking in front of love

I love you, I love you

It always comes

and goes as it pleases

It leaves as quietly as it comes

Even if I ignore it

Even if I forget it

Love always comes again

Yeah, I still believe my heart

Love…

Love always comes again

[This Site]

Goodbye Winter

Good bye winter though I experienced you for a little while only, though I see it snowing for that once only. 

It was really fun I must say. =)

Stephanie + Cat!

[XKCD]

Specially for Stephanie, good luck with your cats. =)

Popcorn Day

There was this Popcorn Day at Silla University.

Career Fair thingy with a fancy name, that is. The person in charge wanted us to open the cafe at 8am and at the end of the day, they came in at 8.35am.

Aih.

Oh, and this thumb print personality test thing, but it's written in Korean. The guy didn't bother to explain to me, he told me to "go and study more Korean".

Aih.

They don't even care whether the spelling of the event is correct or not. Everywhere the banners wrote "Pop Corn Day". Sorry, but I cannot take ignorant people. Especially advertising when your reputation is on stake constantly.

Aih.

Pi Day

I never knew Pi have a day of it's own, which is on the same day as White Valentine.

Pi, Greek letter , is the symbol for the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. Pi Day is celebrated by math enthusiasts around the world on March 14th. Pi = 3.1415926535…

{PiDay.org}

So anyway, Happy Pi Day to you too!

>.>

Korean Essay

I have to write a Korean essay.

The title is "My Hobby" and I have to write 300 words of it. It isn't hard, for a Korean. For me, it feels like I am all the way back in primary school again, struggling to construct proper sentence and making sure it make sense too at the same time.

Stuck at 133 words.

I couldn't explain why I love photography in Korean.

Oh well.

White Day

We decided to treat ourself, even if it had nothing to do with us whatsoever.

P/S: This cake was gone in 3 minutes.

Snow

It snowed, it finally snowed.

Regardless the fact where it may be in the wrong time or wrong place.

Busan had known for its rarity in snowing. According to the local people, it occasionally snow every 5 years. I must be really lucky, I guess.

Yesterday Melissa called me in the middle of the night telling something I wanted to hear for the entire winter.

"It's snowing outside!" She literally screamed on the phone.

5 minutes later, there I was lying in the snow with my short pants.

I am truly awesome just like that. =)

Another 5 minutes later, I was back in the room cursing how cold the snow is. =P

The next morning the snow was 10 centimeters thick and I was doing stupid stuff already 9am in the morning when I found out that the school is officially closed due to the snow.

And I slipped in front of the dormitory, big time.

Sledging and snow ball fight? Fun, for first timer like me. I also had the opportunity to roll down the hill slope. Even did snowman with Jeong Ju and Melissa, the snowman is a little retard looking but it doesn't matter.

Happy times.

原来

我哭了。

我看着韩国的综艺节目哭了。

喜欢韩国的朋友们都应该懂两天一夜那个综艺节目吧！

看到他们三天里的相处和经历，看到他们离别时的感动与悲伤，

我真的哭了。

三天里从陌生人到好朋友的过程完美的在event里而结缘。

找到了，我也找回了我当时的原动力。

我以为它不见了。

那么久了，我以为我放弃了。

放弃了我的选择，放弃了我的决定。

真可笑，

我以为我想离开，不能不想不要接受当中复杂的人际关系。

我以为我想投降，不要不能不要接受当中虚伪的面具世界。

原来，

它一直都还在啊！

原来，

我竟然可以不管当中复杂的人际关系，

也不理当中虚伪的面具世界。

原来，

我要看到的是人们快乐和感动和满足的面容。

没关系的，我可以告诉我自己。

因为，

这都是值得的。

简单的美好

我相信我是一个很简单的人，应该是的。

容易快乐是一件好事，同步的容易伤悲的话，我就是情绪化。

回到韩国好久没那么空闲了，最近忙着搬新宿舍等等的杂物也没有让自己静一静了。
难得明天没课的舍友回家去了，看来我又来了。

我真的觉得我想太多了。常常都是这样子。

唉，好累。

回来的那一天，从马来西亚飞回首尔转火车到釜山-总达12个小时的旅程，
才刚刚回到旧宿舍坐在椅子上，张欣和绵羊大哥就忽然看门把我给绑架出去了。

我喜欢那种感觉，因为我确确实实的存在着。

至少，我的存在可以称得上是有相当的分量。

有一天突然间去了阿龙那里和他们打通宵麻将，然后把张欣带进旧宿舍睡觉。
虽然我不会打麻将，更搞不懂什么是清一色，而十三么又是什么鬼东东。

我喜欢那种感觉，因为我当时不是一个人的。

至少，我的存在可以称得上是快乐的一份子。

我厌倦复杂的人际关系，但是我知道我永远都不可能逃避这个问题。
你要是越不喜欢，你就会遇到越多这样的问题。

我就是这样子的吧。