Friday, December 30, 2011

I'll Be Your Man



 I'm enjoying this very very much. So much, I'm going to sing in mandarin!


[Verse 1]
Too many voices, too many noises
Invisible wires keeping us apart
So many choices, but there all disappointments
And they only seel me away from you
Climb into our own private bubble
Lets get into all kinds of trouble

[Chorus]
Slide over here let your hands feel the way
Theres no better method to communicate
Girl stop your talking words just get in the way
I'll be your man
So baby come over, from the end of the sofa
I'll be your man
I'll be your man

[Verse 2]
So many faces, staring at their shoe laces
When only one wants to be seen
So tonight lets be honest, we all want to wanted
And darling your got me wanting you
Everything that I'm trying to say
Just sounds like a warn out cleeshay

[Chorus]
Slide over here let your hands feel the way
Theres no better method to communicate
Girl stop your talking words just get in the way
I'll be your man
So baby come over, from the end of the sofa
I'll be your man
I'll be your man

[Verse 3]
Were all what your looking for
Someone we just can't ignore
Its real love drippin' from my heart
You've got me trippin'
Were all what your looking for...

[Chorus]
Slide over here let your hands feel the way
Theres no better method to communicate
Girl stop your talking words just get in the way
I'll be your man
So baby come over, from the end of the sofa
I'll be your man
I'll be your man

(Slide over here) Slide over here let your hands feel the way
Theres no better method to communicate (Slide over here)
Girl stop your talking words just get in the way
I'll be your man
So baby come over, from the end of the sofa
I'll be your man
I'll be your man
I'll be your man
I'll be your man
I'll be your man
I'll be your man

Thursday, December 22, 2011

After Midnight

I had been sleeping really late recently.

Right after my final exams, I am sleeping at 5am and wake up after noon the very next day. This is a screwed up biological sleeping pattern, yet it is all because I started to like the serenity and peace that I could have during wee hours. The pace slows down and I could feel the world on the top on my fingertips. Looping Dido's song at the background, I started reading articles and writing blog posts all over again.

I had found the motivation to actually write down stuff.

Perhaps I am trying to leave some tracks, a desperate attempt and frail struggle to exist or at least, try to exist. I wonder since when it began, when things around me seem to have a lot more impact on me. Relationships between people and the things I did became an epitome of my life. Maybe that's why I am starting with all these resolutions completion project which includes 12 self improvement resolutions to be completed within 365 days. List goes all the way from, exercising to taking a guitar lesson.

This is sad, no? Trying to think that I had a direction and attempting to achieve my lifetime goals while experiencing life at its best when in fact I am just like everyone else, lost in the sea of people, wondering around with no sense of purpose. Not to mention the occasional realization of the shallowness of the world and the materialistic side of the society. Please do not allow me to come in contact with people who are suicidal inclined, they might just suicide there and then after 5 minutes of conversation with me.

But the best thing is? I won't, because I am still believing in possibilities, of things happening or the complete opposite. It makes me feel like a complete hypocrite, living with an unknown mask in front of my face, trying to fit in ALL the time.

This is so tiring.

If there's one day when financial freedom is achieved, I would submerge myself in arts and expressions. Maybe I will make music, maybe I will make movies, maybe I will runaway and travel around the world. Allowing myself to disappear from the surface of the world for awhile, not like it matters anyway. I will stand under the Eiffel Tower, I will lie on the beach at Bali, I will ski at Hokkaido, Japan, I will paint my life with experiences that I never thought I would encounter.

The harsh truth of life has to get in the way, tearing dreams apart and leaving life pointless. Capitalist and materialist ideologies had constantly insisting that it's not okay to do what you want because one needs to work and and earn money to enjoy life as it is. We are meant to work, that's what they say. And make us richer. that's what they didn't say. It might be wise to know that you are able identify these ideologies at play in our society, yet the society still perceive you as a person who is in denial and refusing to accept the social order.

Frustrating much.

Am I going to feel content doing what I like but leaving a trace? Or merely contributing to the social order? I guess it's going to be a long night, tonight.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Dido - Life for Rent



The feeling so complicated inside, when this song was played over the radio. It feels so... empty, deep inside. The sense of belonging rendered, invalid.

Maybe that's exactly why I constantly wants to run away, from everything else. Questioning the matter of love and despair and rationalizing life. But if my life is for rent, I think the rental shouldn't be high, as of I do not have much furniture inside. One day, maybe one day, I would meet someone that would understand the various sizes of pictures and photos I hung all over the house. Everything I had, everyone that I had met, seems like a phase, a passage of water which will eventually pass, nothing I have is truly mine. I'm just very sentimental.

Maybe that's because I had never strong enough to stick long enough to associate with the people and the things around me. I had grown too lazy to tolerate and entertain drama among the society. Sure, dissociating with it painful, but my laziness always win. I will regret the very next day, and will proceed with my life, trying to be better than tomorrow.

The concept of life is too vague.

No one knows how to live, they only think they know how to live. Don't judge me with your standards, everyone is trying their best to live life.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Thinking Skills

Never expected thinking skills can be assessed through final exam. It was so agonizing to see one question worth forty marks. I don't support I could expect anything for this exam, hopefully the rest of the subject could pull the average up.

Is it even fair to judge thought?

In what case the thought process is deemed right? Based on majority's perception on things? In what sense is my thought is assumed as wrong? Or the context in which I am judged upon?

Thinking is subjective, no?

Maybe I'm just giving excuses for the potential disastrous result ahead.

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