Monday, November 28, 2011

走鋼索的人



林宥嘉 - 走鋼索的人

走在半空中 
要人命的風 
就快要把我吹落 
你在那一頭 
說你不愛我 
我掛在風裡顫抖 

走鋼索的人 不害怕犧牲 
只求你一句 愛我 
往前是解脫 後退是自由 
我應不應該回頭 
風吹痛我雙眼 我看不清楚 
我平衡不了 躲在我心裡的苦 
我要給你幸福 你蠻不在乎 
你愛不愛我 會決定我 下一步 

往前是冷漠 
後退是寂寞 
乾脆我墜落 
回憶在左手 
未來在右手 
誰又會同情我 


Sunday, November 27, 2011

Remember

Went back to Melaka today, to see my grandma.

She couldn't recall my name.

Neither with my sisters' and even my mother's name. This scares me, have to accept the fact that there will be one day when I will not be able to remember my own name, where I came from and where I would ultimately want to go.

It's scary to know that I will not remember myself, one day.

What am I suppose to do, when I am sitting there merely waiting for my time to go? Will I wait, or would I choose to just go? Will I see the point to exist and occupy space, would I be able to remember as much as possible? The faces that I love, the places that I went, the things I did and the experiences that I would want to remember.

What am I suppose to do?


Saturday, November 26, 2011

Coming to an End

It's scary.

The thought of time passing on so fast. It feels like yesterday when I came back from Korea. It feels like yesterday when I had my first 20 weeks internship in a multinational advertising firm. It feels like yesterday when I graduated from my diploma with distinction. It feels like yesterday when I applied for the degree program. And semester one is coming to an end after the finals from 5th to the 16th of December. Soon, very soon.

Time has no mercy, it just keeps on going. Regardless what you may had decided to do, to stay or to progress. To this very point, I felt like I am not maximizing the time and productivity of my life's direction. It's never enough, it's always too many things to do and oh-so-little-time.

I have so many tasks on my to-do-list. It's very scary, when I realize that this year is coming to an end. I still have dreams to live, and life to dream on. I refuse to sit on it and not do anything about it. To achieve something, 3 crucial resources are required: human resource, time and money. I am the human resource, and I need to fully utilize my time. Am I going to allow money to restrict myself? I am afraid that I am doing so right now.

I want to runaway.

I had been saying this for quite some time already. I had been staying in Subang Jaya for a little but more that 2 decades. I need and I desire to expand my horizon, to see, to learn and to experience. Let me run, let me escape to a place that I might not know, that I might not understand. Let me fall, let me learn from the mistakes that I made throughout my life, throughout my existence. Let me experience, let me grow from the things I see, the things I learn and the things that I am about to experience.

I will be responsible to myself, and the choices I made and will make in the future.

I am not sure whether I will be fine, whether I will be rich, whether I will be a better person (or not). I had drew up my map and lay it on the table, telling myself: just allow myself to do so. Please be fine. Please be okay. I hope, I sincerely hope so.

I learned a lot and even met a lot of new friends. Having new friends like Shinta, Edwin and Isaiah from the degree course in Sunway had brighten up the road and journey we are about to take. Maybe, just maybe 10 years later, we would be sitting on the same table again, laughing about the assignments we had over a cup of coffee, or chocolate. It would be fine, it should be okay at the end of the day. I hope, I sincerely hope so.

It's almost the end of 2011.

It's time to clean up the mess and be a little bit more productive then the year before. A little bit more determined than the year before. And,  a little bit more grateful than the year before.

Thank you, world.
Thank you, friends.
New or Old.

Thank you, I truly know what I suppose to do now.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Starbucks的Hot Caramel Chocolate

我其实很享受Starbucks的Hot Caramel Chocolate.

那一个雨后的晚上,
那一杯暖暖的饮料。
喝下,100%纯正天然的幸福。
坐在一个角落的风景其实还不赖。
在看着人来人往,稀里哗啦。
无所事事的心情,好久不见。

那杯饮料,其实很甜。不,非常甜。

我妹妹拿起杯子,
喝下了一大口。
然后,转身离开。

明天是SPM数学考试,整大半的店里都是学生。
正在奋斗的学生。
我在这里的原因,
全都是因为她的。

我真的真的好怀恋,
这种好简单的感觉。
这种好简单的关系。
人与人的人际关系。
相互相承的存在着。

好久不见。

我想,我真的脱节了。