Running

I had been doing a lot of things that I would never expect myself to do. For example, 12.3km run of Men Health, tonight. I mean for a person like me who hated running participating in a marathon, well, I would not say I am completely sane at the moment. I am not quite sure what am I trying to prove or what am I trying to convince. Maybe I am trying to prove something to myself. Maybe I am trying to make the best out of everything, maybe I am trying to run away. I would not completely deny the possibilities. Or maybe I just do not want to leave any regrets behind, probably all because of the fact that I was listening to a lot of talks recently and a lot dealt with perceptions.Or maybe I am just getting old. *Gasp*

"I will not try to be right, I choose to be happy." the speaker once said.

Am I happy? What am I suppose to do to feel happy? I started to question myself. It was used to be easy, I could be happy with a nice dinner, a simple gift, a short conversation, a simple trip or a insignificant accomplishment (real or virtual). But things had changed, I still feel happy nonetheless, but significantly less. My thoughts wonders back to the questions but it was completely futile. For some reason, I couldn't even give a definite answer to myself.

I am aware of my desire of learning which probably is a result for a constant feeling of incapability. Does this produce happiness? Apparently not. Learning is a choice to survive better, I need to learn and my rationale refuse to associate requirement with emotional satisfaction. And so, I am back to square one. I am also aware of my weird habit of jumping into new things, aka exploring new things, maybe that will be a credible source for happiness. I went diving, am I happy? Yes, accomplishment. I am running, will I be happy? Very likely, accomplishment. I guess that is exactly what I am going to do.

So yeah, I am going to run for 12.3km tonight at PutraJaya and I certainly hope that I could still feel my leg after that. *Cross Fingers*

I have a Tumblr!

As the title suggested, I do have a Tumblr site for short and simple blog posts.

While this blog is reserved for heavy stuff. =P

Shall resume blogging really soon! XD

That's it, Diploma.

I had finally completed my diploma, after 3 and a half years. It took me quite a while, with the cultural exchange to Korea for a year, it had already separated me from my original batch. Facing with a completely new batch of classmates when I came back for only 7 months, sad to say, I don't feel anything that I suppose to feel when I took my final paper on Exhibition Operation subject. Not a hint of happiness, nor sadness. I did my best throughout the entire diploma program, as I had never liked to be labelled as irresponsible. What I had done does not really seem to matter anymore once I proceed to a completely new degree. I could only hope that it would benefit be in terms of the awesomeness of the resume, but I do not feel regret completing this particular diploma of mine.

It did pull out some of the unknown personalities or characteristics of me which I also hope it would benefit me more when I progress into degree the very next month. By the time when I will be completing my degree, most of my friends would probably be working for 2 years or so already. Am I suppose to be worried? Am I suppose to be nervous about my choice of degree now? My dad, especially had made a big fuss of it. I am certainly aware that working experiences are the vital component in the future career pathway while education only works as a stepping stone so why waste time on this when you can finish it within 4 years. However, I refuse to tolerate inferior learning opportunities. Call that character, call that ignorant. I call that learning. After these long period of diploma, I certainly am exposed to various kind of people, challenges, responsibilities and opportunities. I believe it would do me good some time later. *cross fingers*

For the very first time, I am feeling absolute neutral.