Number1

Didn't expect our performance got number 1 for the Christmas Eve Celebration.

Got a stack of vouchers for that. =D

Christmas Eve

Feel like crap these days.

My fault probably, no point frustrated over things I have no say over. I really thought my tolerating skills are good. Reality can't wait to prove me wrong.

Dengan ini, aku di sini sedang mengalami sesuatu situasi yang amat men-frustrating-kan.

但是，我能怎样？

Giving the following scenario, I have to surrender.

我以为可以逃脱我在马来西亚的现实。

Tetapi, realiti ini memang tidak dapat dilarikan. Apa yang patut datang akan datang jua.

I had been complaining about the same thing.

人事真的在世界上是最难处理的问题。

Aku dah benci perkataan "Kami" yang telah keterlaluan.

Whatever it is, it will start with that word.

问题就在这里，“我们”没有你。

Kami betul, kau salah. Tak kira apa yang telah berlaku.

Issues regarding my attire to "work".

我的运动棉裤似乎冒犯了他的专业工作场所。

Rambut aku pun telah bersalah, aduhai!

I have no more comments over this.

Cold

And so, it had finally begun.

Negative temperature finally conquered Korea.

I went to Seoul for six days since last Thursday and I think the Seoul weather literary hates me because the day right after I tell everyone that Seoul wasn't as cold as I thought it was and the temperature dropped below 5 degree Celsius.

The morning right after I went back to Busan, it snowed.

FML.

No Hot Water

There is no hot water supply in the dormitory due to the condition of the heating system.

How to survive?!

Winter - Hot water = Die

Life is like a SHIT

I hate the feeling of being helpless.

In this, I am absolutely sure that I am in this situation in and out for a year already. What makes it worse is that it is not going to end just yet. The whole fact that the time, the people and the place are not in favor with me in this stupid year frustrates me.

And there will be more.

I'm very worried now. But the thing is that I cannot do anything about it. I'm 6 hours flight away from home (I'm not bothered to convert that into mileage), now there's problem at home. Not one, but three. What can I do now? The time when my family needed me the most, I am away from home. This time is not just away, but very far away from home.

I want to go home.

Despite the fact that I might not be the most family-orientated ones you might came across in your life because I complaint about my family like in daily basis, but I want to go back home now. I just feel like being with them now, at least.

Share the hard time together, as a family.

I know we will go through this, but the whole issue that involves me being in the foreign country, still using money from home, giving burden to the family does not makes me feel any better. In fact, I am feeling damn guilty right now.

Two hundred and fifty thousand won is enough to live at Korea, since food and accommodation is provided to us. There is no reason for me to overspent it and still using the money back at home.

However, I still insisted to travel.

For that, I feel damn guilty. So guilty that I don't know what to do anymore. I might be acting really selfish right now, and I really does not enjoy the fact that I am not only not helping but increasing the burden of the family.

Recently, I realize that I got this "do-not-know-what-to-do-anymore" scenario more than ever, is like I'm getting stupider as I grow up. Or getting much more inflexible around people.

It is really frustrating.

Just came to knowing my grandfather was confirmed that he can only live for one more year due to liver cancer and for that itself I think I am going to break down. Because just only last 6 months ago, my grandmother is getting ill and the situation is not going help in anyway when my mum told me that my dad's business is at stake right now.

I want to go home now. Very badly.

Oh yes, life is like a shit. I insist.

And you know what? I don't know what to do anymore.